Here’s an amazing little bit of ephemera I found at a junk store on Canal St. for 25 cents. It’s your very special day, as only Modern Bride can deliver it– third class!


Included in the sleeve was this pamphlet explaining how to do your makeup for the camera (“admit to your imperfections”) and admonishing you to keep your fat Uncle Louie and his cheap Minolta out of the way of the photographer (“only a PROFESSIONAL photographer can capture [your day] from the flurry of just before the wedding to the last whirling handful of confetti.”)


As you can see, Modern Bride delved deep into their portfolio to bring you the widest possible sample of their professional work. Oh, and by the way, they’re the “Pioneer Of Natural Color Wedding Photography,” just in case you get the impression that your photos will come back in shades of gray and harvest gold.


And for the groom, two free tuxedos with every purchase of six or more, for when he gets hammered on piƱa coladas and pukes all over himself just prior to making a pass at your cousin Iris, that skank.

As for the recording inside… not what I was expecting. I’ll let you judge for yourself.

Listen: modern_bride.mp3

hey. The audiprozac is back at doctorsuperhelga/blogspot.com. (could not find another contactobtion) Nice page. Got to check it out a bit more.
Men du er jo svensk.
Ha en fin dag

I cannot think of a more compelling reason to invent a time machine.