I honestly cannot think of anything snarky to say about this album– any joke I might crack would pale in comparison to the sheer horror of it all.  The track below starts out fairly mild, but give it a few and I guarantee it won’t disappoint.

Get it here…

Originally known as the Bagelman Sisters, Claire and Myrna Barry were the queens of the postwar Yiddish swing scene.  Here they are covering Fiddler on the Roof from 1964.

Get it here…

It’s JFK’s birthday!  In honor of this occasion I present you with a gem from WFMU’s archives:

Johnny Denis & Netta Rogers – Studio and Stage

A Vegas lounge act.  I was… surprised by the timbre of Netta Rogers’ voice.  The back of this record contains an apology: “We took out the comedy patter which we feel does not improve after continued playing and we do hope you will play our record more than once… please!”

Dale McKenzie – Musically & Vocally Yours

Another lounge act, this time from Cleveland.  Dale “can adapt to any song of any era with tones of such sweet quality that you beg for more.”  The front of this record is signed  “To Deb, I hope you enjoy my humble efforts.”

Betty Bond Sings Pop

An album of “song-poems.”  Betty is more infamous for her ode to heroin addiction, Till Death Do Us Part (which you can hear here) but I was amused by this schlocky rip-off of Harper Valley PTA.  “Presently single, she has four children and has done secretarial work in addition to professional singing.”

Joe Barone and Lily Ann Carol Play For Their Friends

This album is subtitled “Live From Jupiter’s” and features Joe and Lily’s faces glued to shooting stars, orbiting a big orange planet.  Lilly sort of sounds like Cher crossed with Maya Rudolph doing Whitney Houston.

Come And Dance With The Tolmans to Johnny Brogan’s Orchestra

“For Ballroom Dancers and Musical Gourmets,” this record hails from Springfield, Massachusetts.  Ballroom Dancing records usually put me to sleep, but this whitebread version of One Note Samba drew me in with its hot dual guiro action.  I also wish I could show you Phyllis Tolman’s wig right now, which I absolutely promise to post a photo of at a later date.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, folks!  More to come…

When I was a little kid, we’d sometimes go to church with my grandparents on the weekend. Their church was a little tiny place in the middle of the woods where mostly farmers and poor people went. There was a Hammond instead of a pipe organ, the carpets were faded crimson red polyester, and the walls were lined with cheap wood paneling. My grandmother sang tenor (!) in the church choir, and my grandfather would play fiddle or musical saw along with the organ and piano. Anyway, the brash, earnest crooning of the Television’s Soul’s Harbor Singers reminds me of this church.

Google’s got nothing on these folks, but apparently they’re from Charleston, Maine. I love the Country Western arrangments, steel guitar, stiff postures and crazy hairdos. I also love how each little group of singers has its own stage name, like “The Singing Faloon’s.” Also check out Pastor Ronnie, who I’m sure caused impure thoughts in more than a couple parishioners. The track below appears to be sung by his dad.

Get it here (about 59Mb)

Jo Ann Castle was a staple on the Lawrence Welk show. She developed her lightning-fast keyboard skills at the age of five and was just as proficient on the accordion as the piano. Here’s one of her better albums– old Hawaiian standards played with a ragtime flair! Surf guitar rounds out the mix and gives a few of the tracks a slightly rock ‘n roll flavor– my favorites are “Lovely Hula Hands” and “Little Grass Shack.” You can visit Jo Ann’s official website here, and read about her (somewhat tragic) life story here.

Disclaimer: I found this record in very poor condition and even after agressive cleaning (with Windex, no less) and some digital noise reduction, some of the tracks aren’t as clean as the preview below. The music is so much fun, though, that you might not much care.

Grab it here (about 47Mb)

No, not that kind of foursome. But pour a few Martinis down these swingers’ throats and who knows what might happen? Tony definitely looks like he’s harboring a few dark secrets, and you just know Joe’s got a kinky side. Just remember that what happens at The Highlander Lounge stays at The Highlander Lounge. Featuring the sleaziest version of Light My Fire you’ve ever heard.

Get It Here (about 64Mb.)

I have it on good authority that the title of this record is “Bremen Minstrels.” Apart from that, I can’t tell you much (shocker: I don’t speak Russian) except that this has to be the grooviest, funkiest kids record known to man. You will find yourself unconsciously humming these tunes tomorrow, perhaps over your morning cofee, while making that big presentation at the office, or indeed during the consummation of your martial vows. It’s that catchy. From Melodiya, the Soviet state-owned record monopoly.

Rap with gas over at 365Days.

Your attention please. I am thy captain. The flight thou art making today is the same which Abraham, Moses, John, Peter, Paul, and all of those redeemed before have made. Enoch and Elijah joined us in mid-flight, without passing through the Gate of Death. We shall be flying today at altitudes unlimited and at a speed never known to thee before. Flying time to the New Jerusalem is not considered, for thou are now in the realm known as Eternity, where Time is no more. As we left the Earth, the weather was stormy with heavy overcast, but the report from the New Jerusalem is, as it always will be, a beautiful day without a cloud.

For those that wonder what it would be like if God ran His own airline offering direct flights to the Afterlife, this record provides a “dramatic comparison.” Passengers need merely have their ticket stamped with the blood of Christ before making their way down the blood spattered sprinkled concourse to the Gate of Death. Your seatbelt is Psalm 23. No meals will be served on this flight, as you’re about to gorge yourself at the Great Banquet Table upon arrival (also, one assumes, because you are dead.) So pack your bags and let’s jet away from this moral coil! But don’t bother bringing your Earthly burdens, as these have recently been banned by the TSA.

This record was listed at Show&Tell for a long time, but now seems to have disappeared. Recently it sold on eBay for over $20. So, I figure now is a good time to release its full glory to the sharity world.

Excerpt: Your stewardess, the Angel of Mercy