When I was a little kid, we’d sometimes go to church with my grandparents on the weekend. Their church was a little tiny place in the middle of the woods where mostly farmers and poor people went. There was a Hammond instead of a pipe organ, the carpets were faded crimson red polyester, and the walls were lined with cheap wood paneling. My grandmother sang tenor (!) in the church choir, and my grandfather would play fiddle or musical saw along with the organ and piano. Anyway, the brash, earnest crooning of the Television’s Soul’s Harbor Singers reminds me of this church.

Google’s got nothing on these folks, but apparently they’re from Charleston, Maine. I love the Country Western arrangments, steel guitar, stiff postures and crazy hairdos. I also love how each little group of singers has its own stage name, like “The Singing Faloon’s.” Also check out Pastor Ronnie, who I’m sure caused impure thoughts in more than a couple parishioners. The track below appears to be sung by his dad.

The best track on the record is undoubtedly “Jonny Galaxis,” which is a space anthem set far in the future. It is the tale of Jonny Galaxis, the the 3-eyed futuristic space cowboy and seasoned sheriff, who threatens the narrator with a parking violation.

Here is my crappy translation (you at least get the gist of it):

“Truck Stop Mama” is an ode to a chick at a truck stop. I don’t really understand what they’re talking about, since I don’t know colloquial German trucker speak, but it sounds like they’re saying “truck stop mama is the best hammer. She’s our best piece, everyone she knows always comes back. Truck stop mama is an absolute hit, pampering truckers is for her the best luck.”

That sounds kinda dirty, which the rest of this album totally is not, as far as I can tell. But, who knows? Sit back, get yourself a bottle of Jack Daniels (or whatever the German equivalent is– Jagermeister?), chew on a stalk of hay and listen to the woes of the lonely (but not too lonely) German cowboy.

Jonny Galaxis