If this music ever got George Melachrino laid, I’m turning in my ovaries right this second. I want to be able to get booty by dedicating music that sounds like a bad night stuck in an elevator to random chicks!
This is a 4-track 7″ with pieces of increasing mellowness entitled “Sally,” “Marie,” “Chloe,” and “Dinah.” Each piece is a unique excursion into the world of Muzak. Judging from the swanky hand on the record sleeve holding the martini glass filled with ginger ale, I’d say that this record was supposed to evoke images of sweeping elegance, tasteful opulence, and general classy lounge-ness. When I put on this record, I am instantly transported to an airport someplace… the naugahide seat cushions have been tastefully repaired with near-matching vinyl tape… the mothers are trying to lull the screaming babies to sleep by threatening to smack them… the harried, underpaid flight crew is discussing if they have time to catch another quick smoke outside before boarding commences… and “Chloe” is gently, unobtrusively, wafting over the soundsystem.
I guess that’s the whole point of lounge music– to provide a totally non-offensive backdrop to whatever event you happen to be experiencing, but it still makes me cringe to hear the soaring string pizzacatos and occasional oboe solo in these pieces. Close your eyes and pretend you’re on hold at the DMV.